Today though, I had an interesting experience. There is this old colleague that I sort of had a crush on. Nothing major. I remember once we had an interaction and …. Well.. I definitely made a fool of myself, because I was acting out on the crush and he brushed me off. Whenever I remember the interaction it always me feel bad, uncomfortable, kind of ashamed of myself… for behaving the way I did. I have always wanted to have behaved differently in general.
Today the memory came back to me and the old feelings flooded over me. The old discomforts came back and the shame and feeling like I had made a fool of myself and that regret. It was really quick.
Then the memory of my exercises also came back. I did them and in a few moments the feelings were not there anymore. I feel this ease, this not caring about that old memory at all. It feels OK now.
I am just grateful that God brought the exercises to me so that dealing with these discomforts becomes easy and not anything that I keep having to carry it for the rest of my life.
