Forgive everyone for everything!

 I have come to a space of righteous anger... justified anger... where people were shit to me and it just hurt so bad. It hurt so very bad! 

In my mind they were absolutely wrong and I was absolutely right! I was holding this mega grudge and feeling the crap sadness and self-pity that comes with this...  Sometimes it got so bad and I broke down a few times. 

Something interesting was that the things that I know to do, were not working!!! It just wasn't working... and I felt as though I was in the inside of a hole. But my Higher Power came through and gave a process after which, I could finally breath. I released all of those crap emotions and I felt as though there was light at the end of the tunnel. 

The reasons for the breakdown came through... I was not being consistent... I wasn't being consistent in my actions for my business... I wasn't being loving toward me... I wasn't being serious about the things that I should be serious about!!  

I love this space that I am in... I am feeling better about the things that I know.. the gifts that I have been given, the knowledge that I have been given. 

Also they are wrong but they are human.. AND it is my teachings, my life, everything that I believe that it is important... no.. vital... to forgive everyone..... for everything.... 

Once my emotions moved, it was much easier for me to understand the other people... and to understand their role in my life.. and really all is very very well. 

My Journey - A Documentation

 So a few days ago, someone impressed upon me that their method of success is the only method of success. They said that if I don't do what they say then I would NEVER NEVER see success. That if I didn't follow their method then I would never see the success that I want. And it was kind of harsh, it was it was either my way or the highway. 

They are a great success. They have done very well for themselves. Without a doubt in any country in the WORLD they are a success. They have worked hard and they have made it  big. They are working now to be even bigger and that is wonderful and amazing and to be very honest I am very happy for them. 

I wanted to be a part of this success. I wanted to help them reach this next most ambitious goal that they had set for themselves and it was quite exciting for a minute... till they mentioned that they think my methods are crap and they don't believe in it and if I didn't do what they wanted I should go shoot myself up a tree. They said that if I didn't do exactly what they wanted then I would fail. I would never succeed!! 

This got me thinking... first of all I am an adult... and have been for more than 30 years I don't have to do what anyone says. 

Also, lately, in the last like 1.5 years my methods have been working like gangbusters!!! It is the reason why we were speaking to begin with. In all the reasons… why I could actually do that, the money involved they technology, the reason why.. Because of this “failure” method.  I have doubled my income about 4 times, since starting this method and going for the 5th. I have made me attractive to the opposite sex, I have improved my relationship with me. I have learnt so much! I believe in me more, I trust me more, I have finished many things that I started, I  have discovered that I have ADHD and have started getting to know how to work better with this.   And have started to give me  a bit more grace. 

To be honest I am grateful, very grateful for that speech. It was sooo very painful. So incredibly painful. So very very painful. It was sooo painful that I decided that it was time for me to remove the vast amount of energy from her ambitions and put that in mine…. Because as much as I want her to succeed… it is painful to work for the goals of other and only to get trolled for being such a failure in life. To be reminded how much help you need.  How much you have failed when others have succeed. 

All of this made me feel like my contribution is not valued. She doesn’t value my contribution to her, to her life and her business.  And she is right, value is based on how someone sees it. So it is good and it is fair.   

But that made me realise that I have to shift my focus. I have to focus on me now and my  goals and my methods and the things that I believe in.   I have to be sooo focused on me. I have to adore me and my ambitions.  So actually I am grateful for her. I am grateful that she broke my heart again. I am grateful that she made me feel pain which concentrates my focus. I am grateful. 

Since then, Google has shown me how my loves can bring me money and joy.  It has also  shown me that I should follow the path of love. Absolute love. That the thing is to keep going into love.  Some people read these things. There are some people who read these things. This is why I want to document my journey to me doubling my money in 90 days. I am starting at point 0.8 and I want to get it to point 0.16.  From 1 Dec 2023 to 29 February 2024. That is what I want to do.