Making the Love of Myself Perfect

I am older..well probably older than you. My history with men has been interestingly pathetic. I always was into or crushing on someone who didn't even know I existed. Most of my life I only had like one person hit on me a year. In general. This, even though I worked in an office where there were men out numbered women 3:1. Once I worked in a location filled with eligible men who were single and about my age. Still no one really pursued me. Most of the time the men who even looked at me, I found fairly unattractive. (OK not fairly unattractive, TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY unattractive.) And then I was actually cute.. like really cute (see photo)! And no one ever saw me... no one noticed me, just the laches. 

In the last 3 years it got really bad. I think I only got hit on all of last year by ONE dude who was one of those "twende tulale" variety (that was depressing). 

 I discovered this thing that I could do, to get the man of my dreams. 

This had 4 steps.

 a) Forgiving me for all the crap I put myself through as concerns men. I really have dated horrible men who hate me. 

 b) Love and accept myself without condition 

c) Forgive everyone who ever hurt me in anyway (all of them) 

d) Love all them. (All of them) without condition. 

I always wanted to do this process, but I was always put it off, I always said I would start tomorrow. 9 years came and went. Finally late last year, I started the work. Honestly, I am not sure I didn't do the work. It was fun. I feel soo good after any section. I end up kind of euphoric and people forgiven and people loved. 

I am still in the process, BUT!! BUT!!! I have been hit on seriously by like 8 guys this year. Most are fun, some are extremely attractive, some are, funny, some are rich, some are a combination. It is kind of cool. 

I cannot be in a relationship right now.. and I KNOW that I cannot get into a relationship because I am NOT ready; AT ALL. But the process of "Making the love of myself perfect" and "Healing myself into love". 

From the "samples" I have received, I really believe that that the love is waiting for me.