Telling me nice things about me

A few weeks ago, well a few months ago got a coach. A person who would guide me out of my emotional mess, who is also quite knowledgeable on the subject matter and who has gone through what I am going through, who has gone through it and come out on the other side.

She gave me an exercise; each day to look myself in the mirror and tell myself 3 things;

a) I love you,

b) I accept you,

c) I forgive you. 

This was my first step to saying things to myself that are nice. I have sort of known about this. I have always known that telling myself nice things is a good idea but I have never used it. Not really. I am not even sure that I listened when it was said... 

Anyway, that is how all of this started. Sometime back my sister got me doing this exercise where I write and say out loud things that I like about me. 5 things. After a while, my coach said the same thing. Write 5 things about me that I like, every day. 

Recently a friend gave me a secret. He told me to just say nice things to myself. Simple things actually. Things like I am kind, I am loving, I try. It is amazing how easily and quickly and effectively this works. 

Before one starts, it is hard to even remember to say nice things to oneself because we are so used to calling ourselves all of these vile things. We usually spend a lot of time really insulting ourselves. Calling ourselves knowing names, that if someone else called us, we would cut them off, beat them up, and do all sorts of nasty things to them. 

I recently learnt this concept called "Self Compassion". I found it quite compelling especially because it is really quite simple. It is nice to be nice to oneself. It is nice when  I  am nice to myself. It is nice when I am nice to myself. One way I can be nice to myself is to say to myself nice things. 

Making the Love of Myself Perfect

I am older..well probably older than you. My history with men has been interestingly pathetic. I always was into or crushing on someone who didn't even know I existed. Most of my life I only had like one person hit on me a year. In general. This, even though I worked in an office where there were men out numbered women 3:1. Once I worked in a location filled with eligible men who were single and about my age. Still no one really pursued me. Most of the time the men who even looked at me, I found fairly unattractive. (OK not fairly unattractive, TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY unattractive.) And then I was actually cute.. like really cute (see photo)! And no one ever saw me... no one noticed me, just the laches. 

In the last 3 years it got really bad. I think I only got hit on all of last year by ONE dude who was one of those "twende tulale" variety (that was depressing). 

 I discovered this thing that I could do, to get the man of my dreams. 

This had 4 steps.

 a) Forgiving me for all the crap I put myself through as concerns men. I really have dated horrible men who hate me. 

 b) Love and accept myself without condition 

c) Forgive everyone who ever hurt me in anyway (all of them) 

d) Love all them. (All of them) without condition. 

I always wanted to do this process, but I was always put it off, I always said I would start tomorrow. 9 years came and went. Finally late last year, I started the work. Honestly, I am not sure I didn't do the work. It was fun. I feel soo good after any section. I end up kind of euphoric and people forgiven and people loved. 

I am still in the process, BUT!! BUT!!! I have been hit on seriously by like 8 guys this year. Most are fun, some are extremely attractive, some are, funny, some are rich, some are a combination. It is kind of cool. 

I cannot be in a relationship right now.. and I KNOW that I cannot get into a relationship because I am NOT ready; AT ALL. But the process of "Making the love of myself perfect" and "Healing myself into love". 

From the "samples" I have received, I really believe that that the love is waiting for me.