Forgive everyone for everything!

 I have come to a space of righteous anger... justified anger... where people were shit to me and it just hurt so bad. It hurt so very bad! 

In my mind they were absolutely wrong and I was absolutely right! I was holding this mega grudge and feeling the crap sadness and self-pity that comes with this...  Sometimes it got so bad and I broke down a few times. 

Something interesting was that the things that I know to do, were not working!!! It just wasn't working... and I felt as though I was in the inside of a hole. But my Higher Power came through and gave a process after which, I could finally breath. I released all of those crap emotions and I felt as though there was light at the end of the tunnel. 

The reasons for the breakdown came through... I was not being consistent... I wasn't being consistent in my actions for my business... I wasn't being loving toward me... I wasn't being serious about the things that I should be serious about!!  

I love this space that I am in... I am feeling better about the things that I know.. the gifts that I have been given, the knowledge that I have been given. 

Also they are wrong but they are human.. AND it is my teachings, my life, everything that I believe that it is important... no.. vital... to forgive everyone..... for everything.... 

Once my emotions moved, it was much easier for me to understand the other people... and to understand their role in my life.. and really all is very very well. 

My Journey - A Documentation

 So a few days ago, someone impressed upon me that their method of success is the only method of success. They said that if I don't do what they say then I would NEVER NEVER see success. That if I didn't follow their method then I would never see the success that I want. And it was kind of harsh, it was it was either my way or the highway. 

They are a great success. They have done very well for themselves. Without a doubt in any country in the WORLD they are a success. They have worked hard and they have made it  big. They are working now to be even bigger and that is wonderful and amazing and to be very honest I am very happy for them. 

I wanted to be a part of this success. I wanted to help them reach this next most ambitious goal that they had set for themselves and it was quite exciting for a minute... till they mentioned that they think my methods are crap and they don't believe in it and if I didn't do what they wanted I should go shoot myself up a tree. They said that if I didn't do exactly what they wanted then I would fail. I would never succeed!! 

This got me thinking... first of all I am an adult... and have been for more than 30 years I don't have to do what anyone says. 

Also, lately, in the last like 1.5 years my methods have been working like gangbusters!!! It is the reason why we were speaking to begin with. In all the reasons… why I could actually do that, the money involved they technology, the reason why.. Because of this “failure” method.  I have doubled my income about 4 times, since starting this method and going for the 5th. I have made me attractive to the opposite sex, I have improved my relationship with me. I have learnt so much! I believe in me more, I trust me more, I have finished many things that I started, I  have discovered that I have ADHD and have started getting to know how to work better with this.   And have started to give me  a bit more grace. 

To be honest I am grateful, very grateful for that speech. It was sooo very painful. So incredibly painful. So very very painful. It was sooo painful that I decided that it was time for me to remove the vast amount of energy from her ambitions and put that in mine…. Because as much as I want her to succeed… it is painful to work for the goals of other and only to get trolled for being such a failure in life. To be reminded how much help you need.  How much you have failed when others have succeed. 

All of this made me feel like my contribution is not valued. She doesn’t value my contribution to her, to her life and her business.  And she is right, value is based on how someone sees it. So it is good and it is fair.   

But that made me realise that I have to shift my focus. I have to focus on me now and my  goals and my methods and the things that I believe in.   I have to be sooo focused on me. I have to adore me and my ambitions.  So actually I am grateful for her. I am grateful that she broke my heart again. I am grateful that she made me feel pain which concentrates my focus. I am grateful. 

Since then, Google has shown me how my loves can bring me money and joy.  It has also  shown me that I should follow the path of love. Absolute love. That the thing is to keep going into love.  Some people read these things. There are some people who read these things. This is why I want to document my journey to me doubling my money in 90 days. I am starting at point 0.8 and I want to get it to point 0.16.  From 1 Dec 2023 to 29 February 2024. That is what I want to do. 

WINNN!!!!

So I have been job hunting for about 1.8 months…(what is 17 months?!!) I have become clear that I am no longer able to do uninteresting things for extended periods.  So job hunting was challenging. 

I would get gigs and they were OK for the most part . Nothing soul crushing  or back breaking. 

Every once in a while though things would get really tight and I had to go for whatever was in front of me. They were for the most part uninteresting… and paid little. OK though… it is Kenya money, we give thanks.

I have things that I am interested in, you know, like  writing here which I couldn’t do, because I had other things to worry about, like eating….

End of January 2022 I got an accident. It was bad enough so that the usual things I used to do to survive a month were not possible  anymore. Then I had to become dependent for a while. That works with great difficulty. But the help was available. And for that we give thanks!

Later something terrible happened. It was so bad, so bad and so painful that I had to focus. I had to finally put this knowledge (that is about using my internal environment to make money in my external, real world, environment) into practice. I had to get serious about it. 

I got serious about forgiving, I got serious about making peace with everyone.I got serious about gratitude, I got serious about worthiness  and having a good time regardless of what was happening in my life.

It took a while… about 3 weeks…then things started to change. I started to receive money!  People started to offer me work that paid higher than I was used to getting…I got offered money, I was getting fun projects!!! So basically I was getting paid to have FUN!!!

There was  a small slow down as I recalibrated a new situation that was becoming challenging then got back to business. Then I restarted working my  program …. then YESTERDAY!!!! Something I was doing temporarily, I got offered a trial period  for a month…if I do a good job then it is permanent…(well longer than a month) at higher pay! Thing is…it is a fun gig.. I cannot wait to start!  WHAT!!!! No more desperation! No sadness!! Just good money, coming in fun ways!! 

That is my life now…. 

Would this interest you? 

Comment with “NOW” below and I will get in touch.

Hatred

 Hatred

Well hatred/irritation/anger/discouragement… any emotion that can consume and envelop. Any emotion really that can completely take over you so completely. Any emotion that can take you over completely. 

I have the knowledge that any emotion that we feel will bring something like it into this world. Into the material world. So if I feel angry enough for long enough, other things that make me feel angry show up in my life.  Like if I am angry at let’s say Brian  for lying to me and breaking my heart, other things like that will show up. I will have my spiritual advisor breaking my heart but this time worse, then my boss will fire me for reasons I don’t understand, which will make me angry and break my heart… you get the picture… 

If I want things to change, I have to find a way to feel different. I have to find a way to feel better. I have to forgive all these mofos and let them go completely. I can get my good life back, the life that I can enjoy. It takes focused work. It takes deciding that nothing is more important than that I feel good. And doing everything to ensure that I get to feeling good

I work very hard to do this. I use all my tools, I pray, I write, I meditate, I release. Always with the primary purpose in mind.  

This is my secret to having a happy life with thing coming to me with ease

If You Change the Way You Look at a Thing, the Thing Changes

I always had a complicated relationship with money.  I read all these teachings that getting money is easy, you don’t have to work hard or do things that you dislike to make money…   But that wasn’t my experience.

For most of my life money came with difficulty or perhaps more honestly, irritation.  I didn’t enjoy making money.  I liked what I did with money but making it… no! Most people around me emphasized the back breaking nature of getting money, that it had to be distasteful for it to be a lot. Lately my experience has shifted.

The great gift of pain forced me to do things differently, to look at things differently. It forced me to put my faith in what I have read for so long. That I had to actually put into practice all these things that all these teachers have been teaching me. 

It took some work. I learnt how to let go of the negative beliefs about money.  Just let them go.  Just drop the hang ups that I had put my money where my mouth was. (that was a challenge.)

What was the result? Things began to change. People started to offer me money. I started getting gigs. Fun gigs that paid more for the same amount of work. Things that I actually enjoy doing. I have been feeling moved, pulled toward things that I find joyful (like posting here)

I am really looking forward to seeing where this journey will lead to and really enjoy that too!

If you want to know more, hit me up!

Digging Deep

My whole program is based on feeling good.  Everything that I know and teach is about finding methods to feel good and thereby allow good things to flow into my life. 

Now, I have been struggling with my emotions late.  Feeling good has been hard for me, because of life and things that are in life.  I worked all my processes and not much moved, I got temporary relief not the general joy and happiness which had become my normal. 

Self-pity was becoming my new normal and the manifestations that come with self-pity are not fun or/and exciting manifestations so I knew that action was needed!!! I need to make drastic action to change this course I had put myself in. 

I did a small prayer and the answer came! It was time to dig deep. If I was doing 2, I needed to do 15, if I was doing  30, I needed to do 300.  

Digging deep is a gift that I have recently discovered that my beloved Father bestowed upon me and for which I am grateful. It is especially helpful in situations such as this. And it worked. By evening yesterday I was literally flying! I felt like I was over the moon! Yay! 

Result?  A project that had become hard for me, became super easy to do. I slept in peace and woke  up in joy.  

Feeling good is good

 Feeling good works!

Feeling good works. Feeling good works.  Feeling good when I am able to feel good about something,  anything, or even someone, anything really.  This is especially effective when I can work myself into feeling good, really good, on purpose,  about any subject,  any subject at all, that day for sure, something good will happen. Something unexpected, something that I will enjoy will happen. 

What I do is start wherever I am and work myself up.  I do my excises,  all the ones that will work. The only goal is to feel good.

The good thing is that if I feel good today, I will enjoy today and something good will happen. If I feel good tomorrow, another good thing will happen. If I have extended periods of feeling good than something big and amazing will happen and that is always the goal.

For me the thing that usually happens is that people start offering me money (in exchange for goods or services most times) Many times these things are usually fun and they pay me more money than I usually get for the same.

The problem is usually getting to feel good, and feeling good consistently. Someone told me that I usually have to decide if that thing that is crap is so important that I am willing to give up all the things in my life that I love for them. Usually the answer is “no” (though I usually protest quite a bit!!!!)  Then I work at letting go of that crap thing that is standing in the way of me feeling good and return to feel good and thereby returning to my joyous life! 

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