WINNN!!!!

So I have been job hunting for about 1.8 months…(what is 17 months?!!) I have become clear that I am no longer able to do uninteresting things for extended periods.  So job hunting was challenging. 

I would get gigs and they were OK for the most part . Nothing soul crushing  or back breaking. 

Every once in a while though things would get really tight and I had to go for whatever was in front of me. They were for the most part uninteresting… and paid little. OK though… it is Kenya money, we give thanks.

I have things that I am interested in, you know, like  writing here which I couldn’t do, because I had other things to worry about, like eating….

End of January 2022 I got an accident. It was bad enough so that the usual things I used to do to survive a month were not possible  anymore. Then I had to become dependent for a while. That works with great difficulty. But the help was available. And for that we give thanks!

Later something terrible happened. It was so bad, so bad and so painful that I had to focus. I had to finally put this knowledge (that is about using my internal environment to make money in my external, real world, environment) into practice. I had to get serious about it. 

I got serious about forgiving, I got serious about making peace with everyone.I got serious about gratitude, I got serious about worthiness  and having a good time regardless of what was happening in my life.

It took a while… about 3 weeks…then things started to change. I started to receive money!  People started to offer me work that paid higher than I was used to getting…I got offered money, I was getting fun projects!!! So basically I was getting paid to have FUN!!!

There was  a small slow down as I recalibrated a new situation that was becoming challenging then got back to business. Then I restarted working my  program …. then YESTERDAY!!!! Something I was doing temporarily, I got offered a trial period  for a month…if I do a good job then it is permanent…(well longer than a month) at higher pay! Thing is…it is a fun gig.. I cannot wait to start!  WHAT!!!! No more desperation! No sadness!! Just good money, coming in fun ways!! 

That is my life now…. 

Would this interest you? 

Comment with “NOW” below and I will get in touch.

Hatred

 Hatred

Well hatred/irritation/anger/discouragement… any emotion that can consume and envelop. Any emotion really that can completely take over you so completely. Any emotion that can take you over completely. 

I have the knowledge that any emotion that we feel will bring something like it into this world. Into the material world. So if I feel angry enough for long enough, other things that make me feel angry show up in my life.  Like if I am angry at let’s say Brian  for lying to me and breaking my heart, other things like that will show up. I will have my spiritual advisor breaking my heart but this time worse, then my boss will fire me for reasons I don’t understand, which will make me angry and break my heart… you get the picture… 

If I want things to change, I have to find a way to feel different. I have to find a way to feel better. I have to forgive all these mofos and let them go completely. I can get my good life back, the life that I can enjoy. It takes focused work. It takes deciding that nothing is more important than that I feel good. And doing everything to ensure that I get to feeling good

I work very hard to do this. I use all my tools, I pray, I write, I meditate, I release. Always with the primary purpose in mind.  

This is my secret to having a happy life with thing coming to me with ease

New Life

 I started this work nearly 30 years ago (I know right?!!) and for the most part I didn’t take it seriously for the longest time. I would take it up, work it, and put it down. I always had  limited success. I could always only manage to get a few steps in one direction then it would all stop, as I celebrated past wins for too long or a life event would distract me from the work. 

Sometime back however, the great gift of pain descended upon me. The gift of pain focused me.  It helped me be able to find out exactly what I wanted. It enabled me to focus on that thing that I wanted and also enabled me put to the side all things that did not align with these desires.  

I feel like I became someone else. I made a decision and for the first time in my life I followed through with it. I listened to my teachers and did everything they said to do. I did my practices, I wrote, I was grateful, I forgave, I read. 

At first nothing on the outside happened. On the inside though, things started to happen. I started to notice that I was becoming happier, I started to listen more. I gained more peace, I started to  see me as someone who was useful in this world. I started to like and value myself more. I started having a bit more faith, and slowly I started to give to  trust that actual problems would be resolved and they were. I started to see a correlation between the work that I was doing and the way that I was feeling. 

Other fun things started to happen. I was able to stretch money beyond, beyond! I was able to make money last and last and last ( I am still not sure how even now) I lived that month with such little money and never slept hungry and was fairly happy.  

I also started getting work. People would call me up to give me work. Not really in my core business but work that I could do, and most of it was really a lot of fun. Some of it the people would just inform me that they would pay me a certain amount. That amount was usually higher than what I  would have charged!! (COOL!) So here I was having fun earning and receiving much more than I usually do!! 

Because of this, I started believing for real that it is possible for me (even me!!) to receive money doing what I love. That it was possible for me, (even me!!) to make a fantastic living doing what I enjoy doing. I stopped thinking that  this was the reserve of the special ones but to everyone, every single one of us who is willing to do the work.  Everyone of us who is willing to do the work can be able to make a fantastic living doing what they love.  (AND it is also possible to find out what your purpose on this here earth is and do that be joyful in that and still make a fantastic living)

This month another fun and amazing thing happened, by the 7th of September (this month), I had received more than I received in all of August 2022. I had heard stories but I had never experienced it myself! It was a “WOW!”  moment for me. This really works. This actually, truly works. It wasn’t just an idea. It wasn’t a story. It wasn’t pie in the sky, fantasy, only others get such results thing. I experienced it. I knew it was because of the work that I had done before. I KNEW that if I wanted to stay in this path, then I had to keep doing the work. I have to keep doing the work. AND I know it is my privilege to know what work to do, and also to be able to do it.

I have to admit that there are many action steps to do. It will take a lot of time. It will take dedication and consistency. But that is what I am here for. To offer not only knowledge, but also support. 

If you may be interested in getting to know more about this program, inbox me or join my WhatsApp group.  And we can talk about all the fun and exciting ways to live the life we have always wanted.

https://chat.whatsapp.com/BDhwQ3ZZXgAEgenx412XLK

HATE

 

I like to call myself “The Love Expert”. I have spent a whole lot of time studying love.  I am against anything hate and usually have a difficult time understanding why even how, one person can hate another person. Especially when the hate is based on something that the person was born with, something that has nothing to do with the personality of a person. E.G. if the person is gay, or dark skinned or based on the sex of the person. Nothing really to do with them.  That hate I have never understood. I try not to engage in this because it is useless and it is not possible to change the mind of the hater anyway. 

Why do I post this, because me, a connoisseur of love, had a person I hated.  HATED!  This man was such a sexist and a misogynist, he looked down upon everyone, he lorded over everyone and felt only his needs were important and fuck everyone else’s needs. He didn’t respect boundaries, (I don’t think he knows what those are.) He would test people he would be as big an asshole to everyone and if you complained about it, you were the asshole. We knocked heads often (especially in the beginning) cause I would not put up with his bullshit. 

It soon became evident that I had moved from initial feelings onto creation. I believed he was an asshole and now I was just creating assholicness in my life. I also knew, (KNEW!) that if I would not resolve him then I would stay in this bullshit space where I am creating bullshit vibe and reality in my life and very soon someone for whom, I felt the exact same way would show up in my life. 

It  was hard, and I made a huge effort at resolving him (or rather my feeling, my hate feelings for him). On the daily, I wished him good things, I wrote lists of things that liked about him, (which were few) I would come to a space where mentally I could stand him…. Then I would go and sit right next to him to wake any latent hate I felt for him so that I could clean up on that, too.  

I managed mostly. The feelings changed, I stopped the hate, I got to a space where I could stand him and I would stop spewing bile whenever he opened his mouth. We stopped being in contact after a while, but I really believe that given the opportunity I would have managed love for him. 

Something else I noticed is that he changed.. well at least regarding his interaction with me, he stopped being such a fucking asshole!!! He became normal. He even became a little vulnerable, an actual human being. I believe that it would be possible to achieve real love for him. A space where I loved him without  condition. 

He taught me that it is possible to move how I feel for someone from one space to another. I can stop hating someone and move that feeling to love. 

Why did I do it, though? It wasn’t for him for sure, it was for me. I didn’t want to live in world where all I felt was hate, I wanted to feel LOVE in my life. I wanted my world to be FILLED WITH LOVE and this couldn’t be achieved while at the same time feeling hate. 

The added advantage was the changed behavior in him.  That wasn’t the intention but it was nice to experience anyway. 

LOVE WORKS! 

The Gift of PAIN

 

I fall for people easily. That is that my thing. I can fall for a man on the drop of a hat. I can fall after a sentence or a look. A few months ago I fell or a guy because he was kind to a cat. That was it… he was kind to a cat and that was it for me. 

On this backdrop, I encountered a beautiful man sometime back. We just clicked naturally. It was very easy to talk to him. He made me laugh. It was like he had a cheat sheet to my heart. He said all the right things in the right ways. It felt good. 

Right now, as I keep telling anyone who will listen, I cannot get into a relationship because of a program that I am following. And he was one of those people that I told. That should have ended that. It started up again when I was going through some emotional thing, and talking to him really helped me cope.   And he was nice, he was the right amount support not too much, not too little. Just the right amount. He was, to me, pretty perfect. He is also good looking, and financially stable.  

I fell for him very easily and very hard. Really hard. 

One day he asked to meet up. Up to this point he hadn’t seen me.  He also shortly after asked for a photo. And I sent it….. and the rejection was INSTANT!. He made an excuse and to finish with me and that was that

The pain was visceral. It was undeniable. I went through all these emotions. I felt, inadequate, unloved and unloveable. I wanted to make all these changes, change me in order that I could be someone that he could love. I felt angry at God for bringing this situation to me.., “we are friends, why would You let that happen to me?!!!” I felt stupid, and silly for falling for someone over a chat. I was angry at me, for putting me in this situation, cause I felt it was so unnecessary. I blamed me, I blamed God. It just hurt so much. It just really hurt so much. 

Now, I am an Emotional Journey specialist, meaning, I pride myself in being able to move my emotions from one state to another quickly, easily and permanently. And I remembered that. I put ALL my tools to work. ALL. Everything; including the kitchen sink! And I went hard. Sometime into the work I really felt that this would not work that I wouldn’t manage that this case was too hard that the hurt was too deep for this to work. I had never tried these methods for this kind of pain. I felt this doubt that these processes would work. But I kept going because I didn’t really have a choice; it was either the work or the pain and the pain I couldn’t... so I kept going.

Sometime later, it began to feel lighter, then a short while later, it was just fine.  Just really OK. The pain was gone. I felt for him and there was nothing there. The pain was just GONE! My appreciation for me rekindled. I remembered how I feel about me. Who I am to me. 

I also started feeling a new feeling. A gratitude. This intense gratitude to God that I went through this experience. That I fell for this guy and that he rejected me, and that it was painful and that the processes that I knew WORKED! That they worked and that now I knew something new. Something that is useful, something that I KNOW. Something of I knew all the parts. Something that  I could impart to someone else. (Something that I can post here in this forum  ). 

It also taught me (re-taught me) to be grateful for all the bad things in my life. They are a blessing. They truly are a blessing from God. 

Thank you for letting me share.