WINNN!!!!

So I have been job hunting for about 1.8 months…(what is 17 months?!!) I have become clear that I am no longer able to do uninteresting things for extended periods.  So job hunting was challenging. 

I would get gigs and they were OK for the most part . Nothing soul crushing  or back breaking. 

Every once in a while though things would get really tight and I had to go for whatever was in front of me. They were for the most part uninteresting… and paid little. OK though… it is Kenya money, we give thanks.

I have things that I am interested in, you know, like  writing here which I couldn’t do, because I had other things to worry about, like eating….

End of January 2022 I got an accident. It was bad enough so that the usual things I used to do to survive a month were not possible  anymore. Then I had to become dependent for a while. That works with great difficulty. But the help was available. And for that we give thanks!

Later something terrible happened. It was so bad, so bad and so painful that I had to focus. I had to finally put this knowledge (that is about using my internal environment to make money in my external, real world, environment) into practice. I had to get serious about it. 

I got serious about forgiving, I got serious about making peace with everyone.I got serious about gratitude, I got serious about worthiness  and having a good time regardless of what was happening in my life.

It took a while… about 3 weeks…then things started to change. I started to receive money!  People started to offer me work that paid higher than I was used to getting…I got offered money, I was getting fun projects!!! So basically I was getting paid to have FUN!!!

There was  a small slow down as I recalibrated a new situation that was becoming challenging then got back to business. Then I restarted working my  program …. then YESTERDAY!!!! Something I was doing temporarily, I got offered a trial period  for a month…if I do a good job then it is permanent…(well longer than a month) at higher pay! Thing is…it is a fun gig.. I cannot wait to start!  WHAT!!!! No more desperation! No sadness!! Just good money, coming in fun ways!! 

That is my life now…. 

Would this interest you? 

Comment with “NOW” below and I will get in touch.

New Life

 I started this work nearly 30 years ago (I know right?!!) and for the most part I didn’t take it seriously for the longest time. I would take it up, work it, and put it down. I always had  limited success. I could always only manage to get a few steps in one direction then it would all stop, as I celebrated past wins for too long or a life event would distract me from the work. 

Sometime back however, the great gift of pain descended upon me. The gift of pain focused me.  It helped me be able to find out exactly what I wanted. It enabled me to focus on that thing that I wanted and also enabled me put to the side all things that did not align with these desires.  

I feel like I became someone else. I made a decision and for the first time in my life I followed through with it. I listened to my teachers and did everything they said to do. I did my practices, I wrote, I was grateful, I forgave, I read. 

At first nothing on the outside happened. On the inside though, things started to happen. I started to notice that I was becoming happier, I started to listen more. I gained more peace, I started to  see me as someone who was useful in this world. I started to like and value myself more. I started having a bit more faith, and slowly I started to give to  trust that actual problems would be resolved and they were. I started to see a correlation between the work that I was doing and the way that I was feeling. 

Other fun things started to happen. I was able to stretch money beyond, beyond! I was able to make money last and last and last ( I am still not sure how even now) I lived that month with such little money and never slept hungry and was fairly happy.  

I also started getting work. People would call me up to give me work. Not really in my core business but work that I could do, and most of it was really a lot of fun. Some of it the people would just inform me that they would pay me a certain amount. That amount was usually higher than what I  would have charged!! (COOL!) So here I was having fun earning and receiving much more than I usually do!! 

Because of this, I started believing for real that it is possible for me (even me!!) to receive money doing what I love. That it was possible for me, (even me!!) to make a fantastic living doing what I enjoy doing. I stopped thinking that  this was the reserve of the special ones but to everyone, every single one of us who is willing to do the work.  Everyone of us who is willing to do the work can be able to make a fantastic living doing what they love.  (AND it is also possible to find out what your purpose on this here earth is and do that be joyful in that and still make a fantastic living)

This month another fun and amazing thing happened, by the 7th of September (this month), I had received more than I received in all of August 2022. I had heard stories but I had never experienced it myself! It was a “WOW!”  moment for me. This really works. This actually, truly works. It wasn’t just an idea. It wasn’t a story. It wasn’t pie in the sky, fantasy, only others get such results thing. I experienced it. I knew it was because of the work that I had done before. I KNEW that if I wanted to stay in this path, then I had to keep doing the work. I have to keep doing the work. AND I know it is my privilege to know what work to do, and also to be able to do it.

I have to admit that there are many action steps to do. It will take a lot of time. It will take dedication and consistency. But that is what I am here for. To offer not only knowledge, but also support. 

If you may be interested in getting to know more about this program, inbox me or join my WhatsApp group.  And we can talk about all the fun and exciting ways to live the life we have always wanted.

https://chat.whatsapp.com/BDhwQ3ZZXgAEgenx412XLK

Letting Go

 

Many years ago I very briefly dated a young man…let’s call him Shuler… (name changed to protect the guilty). We fitted naturally. It was nice, we were like pieces of a puzzle. It was natural. We just fit. On my side there were no insecurities, I just naturally liked him, it was easy. Our conversations were easy. It was a nice short relationship.

 

One night, on a Friday we went out dancing, like on the 3^rd week. It was alright, it was fun and I liked the people we met. At the end of the night I requested to be dropped at my place and everyone kind of ignored me. I was dropped at Shuler’s place with Shuler. At his place, I made a point to mention a bunch of times that I wasn’t ready to be intimate. I realized that there wasn’t going to be a consensus so, I picked up my stuff and left. 

This was around 1 am. I wasn’t really sure where I was.. I just left. He came after me and asked… pleaded with me to come back promising that nothing would happen. I thought about it and agreed to go back with him. Then for reasons I still don’t understand he started raining blows on me. He said that I made him walk out without any foot ware… I don’t know… I fell down as a result of the blows and these turned to kicks.

In the midst of all this I let out a scream. A watchman came to find out what was going on. As they discussed, I again picked up my stuff and walked. I happened to reach the stage, and got a mat to town and another to home (I didn’t have taxi money at that time)

Shuler is kind of famous now. Not that famous but he has name recognition. I know that he beats up women. I read a complaint a short while later from another woman. He is married and has kids and I know she is probably experiencing violence, but that is not my point.

 

My point is that I have let that whole episode go. Completely. When I think about the incident I don’t hold any resentment toward him. I don’t wish him bad things, but I don’t wish him much success either I am just neutral. There is no regret, there is no trauma, no bitterness, there is nothing there. I don’t have a need for revenge. I don’t want him to hurt, to be hurt because of what he did to me. It didn’t change my opinion of men. I don’t look at men and think they may hurt me, because he did.

 

All I feel is gratitude that his violence came so early in the relationship before I got really into him. I am also grateful for the ease of relationship, before the violence. How that was… it showed me that, that is a possibility. That it is possible to have an easy relationship, that it doesn’t have to be hard or awkward.

 

For me this is forgiveness. Letting go completely. Having no ill will toward to the perpetrator. Having no need for vengeance, for them to say, ‘sorry’ or be contrite or make amends. Just being free of them. Just being free. Being at peace.

Healing a Relationship

Dancing me

What does this mean to me? 

When I think about healing a relationship I think about repairing broken or fractured relationships. I think about the ability to remake a relationship that had become difficult and making this relationship easy again. I think about returning to the space of loving relationship. I think about moving past hurts and disagreement and moving toward forgiveness and understanding. 

I think about forgiveness; real forgiveness. Which means to me being able to look at a situation or a thing that previously made us hurt and not feel the hurt anymore.

 I think about difficult relationships, especially those ones that one cannot get away from, and I think about making these relationships easier, even better and happier. And I also think about I think about harmony and congruence inside of the relationship.  I think about returning to a space of love without condition a space of love and joy.

 It is wanting to be happy more than wanting to be right. 

I have had instances when I have had to heal relationships. Situations where I have been hurt by someone I care about. I go through the process of working through my feelings and coming to a space where I had forgiven completely, where I could look at them and not feel even the smallest twinge of hurt or discomfort. Being able to resume a relationship without feeling like a victim. Being able to see things from the other person’s point of view. Being able to be empathetic when necessary. Being able to be clear when communicating and being able to understand what is being said or communicated without colouring it with our own complexes, causing new misunderstandings and new hurts. 

To me, healing a relationship is becoming free, it is getting freedom to be happy to experience joy and love again. To me that is what healing a relationship is. Much love!