New Life

 I started this work nearly 30 years ago (I know right?!!) and for the most part I didn’t take it seriously for the longest time. I would take it up, work it, and put it down. I always had  limited success. I could always only manage to get a few steps in one direction then it would all stop, as I celebrated past wins for too long or a life event would distract me from the work. 

Sometime back however, the great gift of pain descended upon me. The gift of pain focused me.  It helped me be able to find out exactly what I wanted. It enabled me to focus on that thing that I wanted and also enabled me put to the side all things that did not align with these desires.  

I feel like I became someone else. I made a decision and for the first time in my life I followed through with it. I listened to my teachers and did everything they said to do. I did my practices, I wrote, I was grateful, I forgave, I read. 

At first nothing on the outside happened. On the inside though, things started to happen. I started to notice that I was becoming happier, I started to listen more. I gained more peace, I started to  see me as someone who was useful in this world. I started to like and value myself more. I started having a bit more faith, and slowly I started to give to  trust that actual problems would be resolved and they were. I started to see a correlation between the work that I was doing and the way that I was feeling. 

Other fun things started to happen. I was able to stretch money beyond, beyond! I was able to make money last and last and last ( I am still not sure how even now) I lived that month with such little money and never slept hungry and was fairly happy.  

I also started getting work. People would call me up to give me work. Not really in my core business but work that I could do, and most of it was really a lot of fun. Some of it the people would just inform me that they would pay me a certain amount. That amount was usually higher than what I  would have charged!! (COOL!) So here I was having fun earning and receiving much more than I usually do!! 

Because of this, I started believing for real that it is possible for me (even me!!) to receive money doing what I love. That it was possible for me, (even me!!) to make a fantastic living doing what I enjoy doing. I stopped thinking that  this was the reserve of the special ones but to everyone, every single one of us who is willing to do the work.  Everyone of us who is willing to do the work can be able to make a fantastic living doing what they love.  (AND it is also possible to find out what your purpose on this here earth is and do that be joyful in that and still make a fantastic living)

This month another fun and amazing thing happened, by the 7th of September (this month), I had received more than I received in all of August 2022. I had heard stories but I had never experienced it myself! It was a “WOW!”  moment for me. This really works. This actually, truly works. It wasn’t just an idea. It wasn’t a story. It wasn’t pie in the sky, fantasy, only others get such results thing. I experienced it. I knew it was because of the work that I had done before. I KNEW that if I wanted to stay in this path, then I had to keep doing the work. I have to keep doing the work. AND I know it is my privilege to know what work to do, and also to be able to do it.

I have to admit that there are many action steps to do. It will take a lot of time. It will take dedication and consistency. But that is what I am here for. To offer not only knowledge, but also support. 

If you may be interested in getting to know more about this program, inbox me or join my WhatsApp group.  And we can talk about all the fun and exciting ways to live the life we have always wanted.

https://chat.whatsapp.com/BDhwQ3ZZXgAEgenx412XLK

Letting Go

 

Many years ago I very briefly dated a young man…let’s call him Shuler… (name changed to protect the guilty). We fitted naturally. It was nice, we were like pieces of a puzzle. It was natural. We just fit. On my side there were no insecurities, I just naturally liked him, it was easy. Our conversations were easy. It was a nice short relationship.

 

One night, on a Friday we went out dancing, like on the 3^rd week. It was alright, it was fun and I liked the people we met. At the end of the night I requested to be dropped at my place and everyone kind of ignored me. I was dropped at Shuler’s place with Shuler. At his place, I made a point to mention a bunch of times that I wasn’t ready to be intimate. I realized that there wasn’t going to be a consensus so, I picked up my stuff and left. 

This was around 1 am. I wasn’t really sure where I was.. I just left. He came after me and asked… pleaded with me to come back promising that nothing would happen. I thought about it and agreed to go back with him. Then for reasons I still don’t understand he started raining blows on me. He said that I made him walk out without any foot ware… I don’t know… I fell down as a result of the blows and these turned to kicks.

In the midst of all this I let out a scream. A watchman came to find out what was going on. As they discussed, I again picked up my stuff and walked. I happened to reach the stage, and got a mat to town and another to home (I didn’t have taxi money at that time)

Shuler is kind of famous now. Not that famous but he has name recognition. I know that he beats up women. I read a complaint a short while later from another woman. He is married and has kids and I know she is probably experiencing violence, but that is not my point.

 

My point is that I have let that whole episode go. Completely. When I think about the incident I don’t hold any resentment toward him. I don’t wish him bad things, but I don’t wish him much success either I am just neutral. There is no regret, there is no trauma, no bitterness, there is nothing there. I don’t have a need for revenge. I don’t want him to hurt, to be hurt because of what he did to me. It didn’t change my opinion of men. I don’t look at men and think they may hurt me, because he did.

 

All I feel is gratitude that his violence came so early in the relationship before I got really into him. I am also grateful for the ease of relationship, before the violence. How that was… it showed me that, that is a possibility. That it is possible to have an easy relationship, that it doesn’t have to be hard or awkward.

 

For me this is forgiveness. Letting go completely. Having no ill will toward to the perpetrator. Having no need for vengeance, for them to say, ‘sorry’ or be contrite or make amends. Just being free of them. Just being free. Being at peace.

Healing a Relationship

Dancing me

What does this mean to me? 

When I think about healing a relationship I think about repairing broken or fractured relationships. I think about the ability to remake a relationship that had become difficult and making this relationship easy again. I think about returning to the space of loving relationship. I think about moving past hurts and disagreement and moving toward forgiveness and understanding. 

I think about forgiveness; real forgiveness. Which means to me being able to look at a situation or a thing that previously made us hurt and not feel the hurt anymore.

 I think about difficult relationships, especially those ones that one cannot get away from, and I think about making these relationships easier, even better and happier. And I also think about I think about harmony and congruence inside of the relationship.  I think about returning to a space of love without condition a space of love and joy.

 It is wanting to be happy more than wanting to be right. 

I have had instances when I have had to heal relationships. Situations where I have been hurt by someone I care about. I go through the process of working through my feelings and coming to a space where I had forgiven completely, where I could look at them and not feel even the smallest twinge of hurt or discomfort. Being able to resume a relationship without feeling like a victim. Being able to see things from the other person’s point of view. Being able to be empathetic when necessary. Being able to be clear when communicating and being able to understand what is being said or communicated without colouring it with our own complexes, causing new misunderstandings and new hurts. 

To me, healing a relationship is becoming free, it is getting freedom to be happy to experience joy and love again. To me that is what healing a relationship is. Much love!

The Gift of PAIN

 

I fall for people easily. That is that my thing. I can fall for a man on the drop of a hat. I can fall after a sentence or a look. A few months ago I fell or a guy because he was kind to a cat. That was it… he was kind to a cat and that was it for me. 

On this backdrop, I encountered a beautiful man sometime back. We just clicked naturally. It was very easy to talk to him. He made me laugh. It was like he had a cheat sheet to my heart. He said all the right things in the right ways. It felt good. 

Right now, as I keep telling anyone who will listen, I cannot get into a relationship because of a program that I am following. And he was one of those people that I told. That should have ended that. It started up again when I was going through some emotional thing, and talking to him really helped me cope.   And he was nice, he was the right amount support not too much, not too little. Just the right amount. He was, to me, pretty perfect. He is also good looking, and financially stable.  

I fell for him very easily and very hard. Really hard. 

One day he asked to meet up. Up to this point he hadn’t seen me.  He also shortly after asked for a photo. And I sent it….. and the rejection was INSTANT!. He made an excuse and to finish with me and that was that

The pain was visceral. It was undeniable. I went through all these emotions. I felt, inadequate, unloved and unloveable. I wanted to make all these changes, change me in order that I could be someone that he could love. I felt angry at God for bringing this situation to me.., “we are friends, why would You let that happen to me?!!!” I felt stupid, and silly for falling for someone over a chat. I was angry at me, for putting me in this situation, cause I felt it was so unnecessary. I blamed me, I blamed God. It just hurt so much. It just really hurt so much. 

Now, I am an Emotional Journey specialist, meaning, I pride myself in being able to move my emotions from one state to another quickly, easily and permanently. And I remembered that. I put ALL my tools to work. ALL. Everything; including the kitchen sink! And I went hard. Sometime into the work I really felt that this would not work that I wouldn’t manage that this case was too hard that the hurt was too deep for this to work. I had never tried these methods for this kind of pain. I felt this doubt that these processes would work. But I kept going because I didn’t really have a choice; it was either the work or the pain and the pain I couldn’t... so I kept going.

Sometime later, it began to feel lighter, then a short while later, it was just fine.  Just really OK. The pain was gone. I felt for him and there was nothing there. The pain was just GONE! My appreciation for me rekindled. I remembered how I feel about me. Who I am to me. 

I also started feeling a new feeling. A gratitude. This intense gratitude to God that I went through this experience. That I fell for this guy and that he rejected me, and that it was painful and that the processes that I knew WORKED! That they worked and that now I knew something new. Something that is useful, something that I KNOW. Something of I knew all the parts. Something that  I could impart to someone else. (Something that I can post here in this forum  ). 

It also taught me (re-taught me) to be grateful for all the bad things in my life. They are a blessing. They truly are a blessing from God. 

Thank you for letting me share.